an adventure in costumes
Oct. 21st, 2011 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tropiaveraDid you guys watch this week's Pretty Little Liar's Halloween special? Of course not, but oh my unholy goodness. It was incredible. Incredibly fucked up. ALL OF THESE THINGS. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.
The premise is, it's like a year before Allison went missing (and so two years before the beginning of the show), and it's Halloween! Should we all find amazing costumes and go to an implausible party and have our terrible secrets everywhere? SHOULD WE EVER!
Okay, so to start off, ABC Family has grossly misunderstood how scary their scary costumes should be. I don't know how old the average viewer is supposed to be, but I definitely needed adult super vision watching this nightmare.
Here is an appropriate mask to wear while you pretend like you're going to murder someone in a store:
Here's an appropriate costume for your game of evil Spartacus, it's NO IT'S TOO SCARY ABORT ABORT ABORT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AGHHGHHHHGH
This whole plotline didn't make the slightest bit of sense BUT I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE AGHGHGHHH. Who makes that costume?? A nightmare baby mask on a burlap sack with Leatherface's overcoat, are you fucking kidding me??? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, COSTUME DESIGNER, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE CONSIDER THIS:
WHAT. You can't even see Spencer's giant ridiculous nerd glasses! Aria is wearing, like, eighteen separate items of clothing and is still less dressed than anyone else in this scene. P.S. did they remind you enough that Hanna used to be "fat", are you sure that you remember? Because they'll keep forcing that poor actress to wear a pillow under her clothes, so help them god. Wait, we still haven't actually even talked about this episode, I JUST HAD TO GET ALL THAT OFF MY CHEST.
So it's a year before Allison went missing and before all the big inciting actions happened, but we're seeing some of it fall into place. Like, Emily is still dating her terrible boyfriend from the beginning of the show, but he's telling everyone that they had sex and she's kind of fine with it? Also: Jenna isn't blind yet!
Also, obviously, she and Allison have a Lady Gaga-off, which Jenna wins. She pulls off her respective Gaga well, but she wasn't exactly facing stiff competition since for the first ten costumed minutes 3/5 in my viewing audience were pretty sure Allison was Labyrinth-era David Bowie (in our defense, they only showed her from the shoulders up). AND THEN, the weirdest and awesomest (and creepiest) part: Emily dancing all heterosexually with her terrible boyfriend, but making total eyes at Jenna! Who is making them right back! What the fuck!
We should talk about the other costumes, for two reasons. No, three, but the third is that for a minute I thought Emily was going to be dressed as a football player, but it turns out that was just a regular shirt of hers. Obviously! One is that Spencer goes as Mary Queen of Scots:
In a costume that she made herself, immediately after rigging the election for class president or whatever, because she is my favorite. The second thing we should discuss is Emily's costume:
Right? We'll have the one actress of color who we've coded as white do the cultural appropriation. BLERGH, especially since all of the other costumes avoided gross stereotypes, and none of them were really of the "I'm a mouse, duh" variety, and were all pretty interesting? Well, and Aria.
So as ever, I can't really recommend that you watch this show, and there's not even lady times in this one as whatever the opposite of a bonus is! We did get to learn more about how Allison had a heart of blackest ice and Emily was pretty much always the coolest, but, man. That nightmare baby is not worth the price of admission.
The premise is, it's like a year before Allison went missing (and so two years before the beginning of the show), and it's Halloween! Should we all find amazing costumes and go to an implausible party and have our terrible secrets everywhere? SHOULD WE EVER!
Okay, so to start off, ABC Family has grossly misunderstood how scary their scary costumes should be. I don't know how old the average viewer is supposed to be, but I definitely needed adult super vision watching this nightmare.
Here is an appropriate mask to wear while you pretend like you're going to murder someone in a store:
Here's an appropriate costume for your game of evil Spartacus, it's NO IT'S TOO SCARY ABORT ABORT ABORT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AGHHGHHHHGH
This whole plotline didn't make the slightest bit of sense BUT I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE AGHGHGHHH. Who makes that costume?? A nightmare baby mask on a burlap sack with Leatherface's overcoat, are you fucking kidding me??? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, COSTUME DESIGNER, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE CONSIDER THIS:
WHAT. You can't even see Spencer's giant ridiculous nerd glasses! Aria is wearing, like, eighteen separate items of clothing and is still less dressed than anyone else in this scene. P.S. did they remind you enough that Hanna used to be "fat", are you sure that you remember? Because they'll keep forcing that poor actress to wear a pillow under her clothes, so help them god. Wait, we still haven't actually even talked about this episode, I JUST HAD TO GET ALL THAT OFF MY CHEST.
So it's a year before Allison went missing and before all the big inciting actions happened, but we're seeing some of it fall into place. Like, Emily is still dating her terrible boyfriend from the beginning of the show, but he's telling everyone that they had sex and she's kind of fine with it? Also: Jenna isn't blind yet!
Also, obviously, she and Allison have a Lady Gaga-off, which Jenna wins. She pulls off her respective Gaga well, but she wasn't exactly facing stiff competition since for the first ten costumed minutes 3/5 in my viewing audience were pretty sure Allison was Labyrinth-era David Bowie (in our defense, they only showed her from the shoulders up). AND THEN, the weirdest and awesomest (and creepiest) part: Emily dancing all heterosexually with her terrible boyfriend, but making total eyes at Jenna! Who is making them right back! What the fuck!
We should talk about the other costumes, for two reasons. No, three, but the third is that for a minute I thought Emily was going to be dressed as a football player, but it turns out that was just a regular shirt of hers. Obviously! One is that Spencer goes as Mary Queen of Scots:
In a costume that she made herself, immediately after rigging the election for class president or whatever, because she is my favorite. The second thing we should discuss is Emily's costume:
Right? We'll have the one actress of color who we've coded as white do the cultural appropriation. BLERGH, especially since all of the other costumes avoided gross stereotypes, and none of them were really of the "I'm a mouse, duh" variety, and were all pretty interesting? Well, and Aria.
So as ever, I can't really recommend that you watch this show, and there's not even lady times in this one as whatever the opposite of a bonus is! We did get to learn more about how Allison had a heart of blackest ice and Emily was pretty much always the coolest, but, man. That nightmare baby is not worth the price of admission.