the once and future tropie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tropiavera) wrote2012-03-21 02:39 am
tropiavera) wrote2012-03-21 02:39 am
Entry tags:
You're little, but you're big.
Horrifying as this may seem, what lies before you is the edited version of my feelings about the Pretty Little Liars finale, by which I mean, I have written you an illustrated novel. So. Spoilers ahoy, and discussions of the myriad issues.
We open in Spencer's kitchen, before school, everyone already fully dressed and eating frozen yogurt for breakfast, because apparently the Liars never, ever sleep, and have awful nutritional habits. And then Melissa comes in to make weird comments about Garrett being arrested and then yoink Aria's froyo. Ruuuuuude. We also learn that Melissa can't tell the difference between toffee and peanut butter, which is more worrying than anything else so far.
The main plot is laid out in short order: A wants the lost phone back, and soon. But where, you ask?
OH AT THE MASQUERADE BALL, OBVIOUSLY!!!
"Hide and seek was my favorite game with Melissa. You wanna know why? I always won." I love everyone being quietly freaked out in the background. "Does this mean she's on board with the theory that Melissa killed Ali? I can't tell anymore. She's in her own private Hitchcock movie."
"I don't trust Melissa as far as I can throw her and Ian's fetus..." I mean, to be fair, Emily, you could probably throw her pretty far. Also, to quote Aria: "'Ian's fetus'? Em, that's disgusting." I feel like I would have gone with "A REALLY FUCKING WEIRD THING TO SAY", but sure.
I'm choosing to take Aria's boots as a really obscure shout-out to How I Met Your Mother. Also, Hanna says that Melissa is smarter than Spencer, which whatever, and then Spencer appears out of nowhere and rattles off all of her various academic and psychological test scores in comparison to Melissa's. Well, it's a good thing your parents prepared you extensively for a life of sounding like a total fucking weirdo. While she makes this speech, by the way, Hanna and Emily make weirded out faces as though it's brand new information that Spencer and Melissa were raised to seek world domination, and Aria grins at Spencer like she's mildly in love.
THIS WAS THE CREEPIEST THING. So they needed somewhere to meet and plan, I guess, so Aria just took them to Ezra's?? Where I guess he isn't because he's at his parents's, except why is it still fully furnished?? I like that everyone took the immediate opportunity to spy on him, Spencer by looking through his bookshelves, Emily going through his photo albums, and Hanna rolling around on the bed. Quoth Aria: "Hanna, do you mind? That's kind of...sacred ground." Everyone else, in unison: "IT IS??" Gross me ooooouuuuuuuuuuut.
Okay, that's a pretty hilarious way to bust your friend, I won't lie. In going over to Ezra's to plan, they all bailed on going costume shopping with Mona (because they're jerks, basically), Hanna claiming that she was hanging out with Caleb. Here's my question: did they ditch school? If not, where the fuck are Caleb and Mona that they ran into each other? What? It's too early to be trying to ask these questions, we are going to have way bigger logistical questions in three, two...
So in rummaging through all of Ezra's stuff, Spencer finds a pen from an air strip that turns out to maybe be the one that Aria's pilot friend used to drop Ali off the day she was killed. BUT NO ONE IS AT ALL CURIOUS WHY EZRA HAS IT? Like, it's never even mentioned. You guys, I super duper want more information on this immediately. They google maps the air strip and find a motel nearby that matches a torn-up postcard they found from Ali. AND AWAY WE GO!
If you're thinking, wow, I feel like this would be a great time for some Psycho allusions, but they're being so subtle about it, you will definitely enjoy the next thirty minutes of show.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ROOM ONE??? WHY, IT HAS THE BEST HOT WATER HERE!!! This guy is my favorite, he's the greatest overactor this show has ever seen. I want him to become a recurring character who works at Rosewood's numerous Scooby-Doo small businesses. You know, the haunted hotel, the doll hospital, the haunted amusement park (I'm guessing).
Aria volunteers to break into the manager's office and steal the guest book with Spencer, and then Spencer goes, "You're little, but you're big." OH JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY
Hanna goes to take a shower because she fell in the mud (obviously), and then obviously Emily has a missed call from Maya but she can't get any reception in their room, so obviously she goes outside to try and leaves Hanna alone in the shower without telling her. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MONA, SO YOU COULD BUDDY SYSTEM SHOWERS.
What is this, Boy Meets World? So then obviously A goes into the hotel room while Hanna is showering and it gets hella Psycho in there, except A's phone rings and Hanna gets out of the shower to investigate. I'm not sure if we're meant to think that it was Maya, since Emily's call was maybe going through, or if it was just SUPER CONVENIENT TIMING.
Agghhhhhhhhhh. At this point I was kind of half-convinced that the next-door-spy-hole was just the manager being a creeper, but also, like, WHAT THE FUCK, A? You couldn't make a less obvious HOLE IN THE GODDAMN WALL?? I know you hid it behind a picture, but good god.
Aria doesn't want to break back into the manager's office to return the guest book, which, were you just going to leave it in the room? And then Spencer's sad and goes, "Come on, we're team Sparia!" And Aria gives in. OKAY YOU TWO.
So Toby's working his construction gig getting rid of all the burnt up shit from the DiLaurentis Jenna explosion when Spencer shows up to ask if he can ever forgive her. "Jenna found a way to forgive me [for blinding her], do you think you will ever be able to [forgive me for dumping you to protect you]?" You know, when she puts it like that, he really comes off like the unreasonable one. Also at the end of the scene when Spencer's driving off, Toby gets a phone call and then looks after Spencer all desperately. AND IT'S DR SULLIVAN! What?? Dr Sullivan, for the record, was the group therapist all the Liars' moms made them go to, and they actually had some breakthroughs re: Ali being an asshole or whatever and Dr Sullivan maybe had some A related information (and there was this weird thing where A stole Ezra's college diploma and left it in Dr Sullivan's office??? I forgot what the deal was with that), but then A threatened her and DROVE HER OUT OF TOWN!! And then they resolved to never tell adults about it again because they were pretty sure A just murdered Dr Sullivan. And now I guess she's talking to Toby...?
JENNA. You are just straight up not trying to pretend to still be blind, are you? I mean, I'm digging the Mustang and all, but damn. And then she meets all mysteriously with someone and she's all, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES! I WONDERED WHAT I WOULD SAY TO YOU IF I SAW YOU AGAIN! And then hands them a rectangular something wrapped in a handkerchief and goes, THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BE AT THE PARTY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. Which is obviously delivered so that it sounds like she's talking about the Liars, but I have another theory that we'll come back to.
Weirdest fucking Junior League dance ever? PROBABLY!
"NICE COSTUME, TUXEDO MASK" - K.
So Mona got Caleb a costume and convinced him to go with Hanna (I don't even remember why he wasn't going, it was obviously a super big deal) and then she and Hanna say their I love yous, and then Spencer appears from some tree decorations and delivers some hilariously mean sounding compliments. I'VE GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT...YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND TO HANNA. said in the way you would say, I'VE GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MURDERED ALL THOSE PUPPIES. I think Spencer might be broken. Then there's a flashback that leans pretty hard on the Mona-desperately-wanted-Ali's-approval angle, and Ali gives Mona her number (I assume?) on a ripped off piece of postcard from the Bates Motel!! Dun dun dun...?
Okay, then there's this really weird interlude with Aria and a masked lady (?) and texting. So like, this masked lady is watching Aria and typing loudly on her phone, and then Aria gets a text message and goes into the mirror shrub maze (???) with that other lady following her (and it turns out to be Jenna, but for some reason she looks really different, like, K and I rewound and spent about ten minutes trying to decide if it was actually Jenna), and then she finds Ezra. UH?? Not totally sure what was going on there either.
MEANWHILE: Spencer and Mona are driving back to the motel. It was at this point that I knew.
Hahaha, what on earth was this scene. Spencer has tea with Norman while Mona steals the keys to Room 2, which apparently A has been renting since forever. Also, Norman confesses how lonely he is and how he talks to the taxidermied animals sometimes, and Spencer goes, WELL YOU ONLY NEED TO WORRY IF THEY TALK BACK, and he's like, UM, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? And then Spencer just bounces. Good social skills.
THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE PLL, HOW DARE YOU
You guys, when I was in high school, a girl at my school secretly ("secretly") went to prom with a teacher BUT THEY DIDN'T MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. Jesus. Also, he wasn't a full teacher, just a para-pro, but she was like 15. So it's kind of worse. ANYWAY. I was pretty convinced at this point that Ezra was going to be involved with A and this was his attempt to incriminate Aria, which, since they never talked about the air strip I'M NOT CONVINCED THAT'S NOT THE DEAL.
AHHHH but this is my favorite!! So good!! Paige tells Emily that she wishes she'd fought harder for her, and promises to be there for Emily her friend. I AM V INTO THIS FOR NEXT SEASON. Yes.
Oh, also, A's lair is the creepiest fucking thing. SURPRISE
WHYYYYYYYYYY? I don't even understand why half of these thing are here! A photo montage assembled by tumblr, from the looks of it? What the fuck is that clown mask??? And what looks like a metal spine?? GOD.
Okay, so, Emily's race and how it's presented in the show is complicated (inasmuch as she and her parents are played by actors who are mixed race, but the show never mentions it or engages at all, and when I say they are played by actors of color, Shay is half-Filipino, the actor who plays her mother is Filipino, Native American, and western European, and the actor who plays her father her father is half-Korean). And...she's represented by a black Barbie. Okay??
Anyway, blah blah investigation time, Spencer and Mona discover a bunch of drawings of ~THE BLACK SWAN~, which they decide is what A went as to the masquerade ball, so Mona's meant to call Hanna and tell her about it, while The Liars all see said black swan and talk about who she could be, while...
Spencer figures out that Mona is A, because of gum. !!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, Ms. Black Swan chats up Jenna and Lucas, so that's probably suspicious.
SUBTLE
So I'll be honest, I didn't totally understand this part. Hanna's phone is set "to record every time it's turned on", which I didn't know was a thing. I guess that was Mona, since the phone was FROM Mona, but why would she both doing that if she was already A? Just as a way of eavesdropping? There was probably a more effective way to do this, Mona.
This seems like a risky way to kidnap someone. So, while Mona's driving to some lookout point cliff or whatever, she lays out the villainous schemes of ~THE A TEAM~ and you guys, you cannot imagine how mad I am at myself for talking about my multiple A theory for MONTHS and never once thinking of The A Team. I mean, I guess that's why I'm not a criminal mastermind. So Mona's on the A Team because she wanted to punish the Liars for not so much standing by while Alison bullied her but stealing Hanna from her, which: ....but once Ali disappeared they kind of stopped being friends for a year?? Until they started all getting text messages from A and that forced them to get back together?? So here's my theory: the Black Swan probably started it (maybe?), Lucas joined, maybe Jenna and Garrett, and then Mona was probably the last to join when Hanna started drifting. I think that's the only way the timeline makes sense. I'm not totally sure how the A Team and the NAT club fit together exactly, but Jenna is the common party in both, so...something? Also I'm assuming she was actually referring to the A Team with her mysterious picnic party guest. OR: WAIT, was she talking to Dr Sullivan? No, that doesn't make any sense. Strike that.
In the middle of this revelatory conversation, Aria facetimes Spencer and Spencer responds, while pointing the video screen at Mona. GOOD WORK SPENCER. Mona also claims that Spencer isn't the only genius in the car at this point, which, since you haven't noticed the PHONE POINTED AT YOU, I can't fully get on board. But she did steal Spencer's dad's gun at some point, so...props.
So, as you would expect to happen if your hostage is sitting in the passenger seat not at all restrained, Spencer grabs the parking brake and then jumps out of the car, and then Mona goes after her, and Spencer accidentally throws her off a cliff. WHOOPS. But not fatally, which is for the best, because otherwise can you imagine the cops? "Let me get this straight. Your friend died and we caught you digging up the grave a month ago. And now you ''accidentally'' threw this other girl off a cliff? WE MAY BE INCOMPETENT BUT BY GOD WE ARE NOT THAT INCOMPETENT." Dr Sullivan randomly shows up, saying A threatened her son and then explains about Mona:
that she was living in a state of "hyper-reality" that explain her omniscience. OH SURE THAT THING??? They super rip off Psycho again, and then the Liars bounce.
Dr Sullivan also says that Toby convinced her to come back, which doesn't make any goddamn sense, and then Toby tells Spencer that pretending not to love her was the hardest thing he's ever done. SO WHY WERE YOU??? Nothing about this subplot tracks. ARE YOU DR SULLIVAN'S SON, TOBY? IS THAT YOUR DEAL? WHAT THE FUCK, SON.
The girls all decide to stay the night Emily's house, but just as they're walking up they see a bunch of police cars and ambulances pull up to her house, and the song from the pilot starts up, and Emily's mother tells her that they found a body...and they think it's Maya, and Emily loses her shit in a really sad way. DAMN. Don't get me wrong, I am super into the idea of Emily as the noir detective seeking revenge for her lady, but did you really have to ditch two of your actresses of color in one fell swoop, PLL? I mean, I don't know if we're meant to read Mona as "of color", but Janel is half Chinese.
And then of course: Mona's in the ward, and someone in Ali's red jacket comes to visit her. "I did everything you asked me to!!!" So Mona is acting under the orders of a Senior A (which makes sense, as she tells Spencer earlier re: A, "Yes. SHE always has a plan."). But ugh, you guys. I'm glad they had an existing character be implicated in the whole scheme, but I really REALLY wish they didn't make in into a whole BECAUSE OF HER BRAIN PROBLEMS, YOU SEE, because FOR FUCKING REAL, AGAIN? You made up a fake psychological problem and then blamed it for her actions?? It wasn't enough to have an evil blind character? I was hoping that they were at least going to engage in the culpability of the Liars in creating this situation, rather than having it be semi-handwaved like this, and ALSO to just play the Psycho allusions straight is pretty gross.
Overall: this felt really rushed and haphazard for a show that normally deals with its revelations and foreshadowing at a good clip, but one that allows you to actually process what the show is telling you. This time, there are like three subplots that I can't even figure out how I'm SUPPOSED to feel about it, let alone how I actually do. (Except Ezra. Always.)
We open in Spencer's kitchen, before school, everyone already fully dressed and eating frozen yogurt for breakfast, because apparently the Liars never, ever sleep, and have awful nutritional habits. And then Melissa comes in to make weird comments about Garrett being arrested and then yoink Aria's froyo. Ruuuuuude. We also learn that Melissa can't tell the difference between toffee and peanut butter, which is more worrying than anything else so far.
The main plot is laid out in short order: A wants the lost phone back, and soon. But where, you ask?
OH AT THE MASQUERADE BALL, OBVIOUSLY!!!
"Hide and seek was my favorite game with Melissa. You wanna know why? I always won." I love everyone being quietly freaked out in the background. "Does this mean she's on board with the theory that Melissa killed Ali? I can't tell anymore. She's in her own private Hitchcock movie."
"I don't trust Melissa as far as I can throw her and Ian's fetus..." I mean, to be fair, Emily, you could probably throw her pretty far. Also, to quote Aria: "'Ian's fetus'? Em, that's disgusting." I feel like I would have gone with "A REALLY FUCKING WEIRD THING TO SAY", but sure.
I'm choosing to take Aria's boots as a really obscure shout-out to How I Met Your Mother. Also, Hanna says that Melissa is smarter than Spencer, which whatever, and then Spencer appears out of nowhere and rattles off all of her various academic and psychological test scores in comparison to Melissa's. Well, it's a good thing your parents prepared you extensively for a life of sounding like a total fucking weirdo. While she makes this speech, by the way, Hanna and Emily make weirded out faces as though it's brand new information that Spencer and Melissa were raised to seek world domination, and Aria grins at Spencer like she's mildly in love.
THIS WAS THE CREEPIEST THING. So they needed somewhere to meet and plan, I guess, so Aria just took them to Ezra's?? Where I guess he isn't because he's at his parents's, except why is it still fully furnished?? I like that everyone took the immediate opportunity to spy on him, Spencer by looking through his bookshelves, Emily going through his photo albums, and Hanna rolling around on the bed. Quoth Aria: "Hanna, do you mind? That's kind of...sacred ground." Everyone else, in unison: "IT IS??" Gross me ooooouuuuuuuuuuut.
Okay, that's a pretty hilarious way to bust your friend, I won't lie. In going over to Ezra's to plan, they all bailed on going costume shopping with Mona (because they're jerks, basically), Hanna claiming that she was hanging out with Caleb. Here's my question: did they ditch school? If not, where the fuck are Caleb and Mona that they ran into each other? What? It's too early to be trying to ask these questions, we are going to have way bigger logistical questions in three, two...
So in rummaging through all of Ezra's stuff, Spencer finds a pen from an air strip that turns out to maybe be the one that Aria's pilot friend used to drop Ali off the day she was killed. BUT NO ONE IS AT ALL CURIOUS WHY EZRA HAS IT? Like, it's never even mentioned. You guys, I super duper want more information on this immediately. They google maps the air strip and find a motel nearby that matches a torn-up postcard they found from Ali. AND AWAY WE GO!
If you're thinking, wow, I feel like this would be a great time for some Psycho allusions, but they're being so subtle about it, you will definitely enjoy the next thirty minutes of show.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ROOM ONE??? WHY, IT HAS THE BEST HOT WATER HERE!!! This guy is my favorite, he's the greatest overactor this show has ever seen. I want him to become a recurring character who works at Rosewood's numerous Scooby-Doo small businesses. You know, the haunted hotel, the doll hospital, the haunted amusement park (I'm guessing).
Aria volunteers to break into the manager's office and steal the guest book with Spencer, and then Spencer goes, "You're little, but you're big." OH JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY
Hanna goes to take a shower because she fell in the mud (obviously), and then obviously Emily has a missed call from Maya but she can't get any reception in their room, so obviously she goes outside to try and leaves Hanna alone in the shower without telling her. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MONA, SO YOU COULD BUDDY SYSTEM SHOWERS.
What is this, Boy Meets World? So then obviously A goes into the hotel room while Hanna is showering and it gets hella Psycho in there, except A's phone rings and Hanna gets out of the shower to investigate. I'm not sure if we're meant to think that it was Maya, since Emily's call was maybe going through, or if it was just SUPER CONVENIENT TIMING.
Agghhhhhhhhhh. At this point I was kind of half-convinced that the next-door-spy-hole was just the manager being a creeper, but also, like, WHAT THE FUCK, A? You couldn't make a less obvious HOLE IN THE GODDAMN WALL?? I know you hid it behind a picture, but good god.
Aria doesn't want to break back into the manager's office to return the guest book, which, were you just going to leave it in the room? And then Spencer's sad and goes, "Come on, we're team Sparia!" And Aria gives in. OKAY YOU TWO.
So Toby's working his construction gig getting rid of all the burnt up shit from the DiLaurentis Jenna explosion when Spencer shows up to ask if he can ever forgive her. "Jenna found a way to forgive me [for blinding her], do you think you will ever be able to [forgive me for dumping you to protect you]?" You know, when she puts it like that, he really comes off like the unreasonable one. Also at the end of the scene when Spencer's driving off, Toby gets a phone call and then looks after Spencer all desperately. AND IT'S DR SULLIVAN! What?? Dr Sullivan, for the record, was the group therapist all the Liars' moms made them go to, and they actually had some breakthroughs re: Ali being an asshole or whatever and Dr Sullivan maybe had some A related information (and there was this weird thing where A stole Ezra's college diploma and left it in Dr Sullivan's office??? I forgot what the deal was with that), but then A threatened her and DROVE HER OUT OF TOWN!! And then they resolved to never tell adults about it again because they were pretty sure A just murdered Dr Sullivan. And now I guess she's talking to Toby...?
JENNA. You are just straight up not trying to pretend to still be blind, are you? I mean, I'm digging the Mustang and all, but damn. And then she meets all mysteriously with someone and she's all, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES! I WONDERED WHAT I WOULD SAY TO YOU IF I SAW YOU AGAIN! And then hands them a rectangular something wrapped in a handkerchief and goes, THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BE AT THE PARTY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. Which is obviously delivered so that it sounds like she's talking about the Liars, but I have another theory that we'll come back to.
Weirdest fucking Junior League dance ever? PROBABLY!
"NICE COSTUME, TUXEDO MASK" - K.
So Mona got Caleb a costume and convinced him to go with Hanna (I don't even remember why he wasn't going, it was obviously a super big deal) and then she and Hanna say their I love yous, and then Spencer appears from some tree decorations and delivers some hilariously mean sounding compliments. I'VE GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT...YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND TO HANNA. said in the way you would say, I'VE GOT YOU ALL FIGURED OUT. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MURDERED ALL THOSE PUPPIES. I think Spencer might be broken. Then there's a flashback that leans pretty hard on the Mona-desperately-wanted-Ali's-approval angle, and Ali gives Mona her number (I assume?) on a ripped off piece of postcard from the Bates Motel!! Dun dun dun...?
Okay, then there's this really weird interlude with Aria and a masked lady (?) and texting. So like, this masked lady is watching Aria and typing loudly on her phone, and then Aria gets a text message and goes into the mirror shrub maze (???) with that other lady following her (and it turns out to be Jenna, but for some reason she looks really different, like, K and I rewound and spent about ten minutes trying to decide if it was actually Jenna), and then she finds Ezra. UH?? Not totally sure what was going on there either.
MEANWHILE: Spencer and Mona are driving back to the motel. It was at this point that I knew.
Hahaha, what on earth was this scene. Spencer has tea with Norman while Mona steals the keys to Room 2, which apparently A has been renting since forever. Also, Norman confesses how lonely he is and how he talks to the taxidermied animals sometimes, and Spencer goes, WELL YOU ONLY NEED TO WORRY IF THEY TALK BACK, and he's like, UM, WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? And then Spencer just bounces. Good social skills.
THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE PLL, HOW DARE YOU
You guys, when I was in high school, a girl at my school secretly ("secretly") went to prom with a teacher BUT THEY DIDN'T MAKE OUT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. Jesus. Also, he wasn't a full teacher, just a para-pro, but she was like 15. So it's kind of worse. ANYWAY. I was pretty convinced at this point that Ezra was going to be involved with A and this was his attempt to incriminate Aria, which, since they never talked about the air strip I'M NOT CONVINCED THAT'S NOT THE DEAL.
AHHHH but this is my favorite!! So good!! Paige tells Emily that she wishes she'd fought harder for her, and promises to be there for Emily her friend. I AM V INTO THIS FOR NEXT SEASON. Yes.
Oh, also, A's lair is the creepiest fucking thing. SURPRISE
WHYYYYYYYYYY? I don't even understand why half of these thing are here! A photo montage assembled by tumblr, from the looks of it? What the fuck is that clown mask??? And what looks like a metal spine?? GOD.
Okay, so, Emily's race and how it's presented in the show is complicated (inasmuch as she and her parents are played by actors who are mixed race, but the show never mentions it or engages at all, and when I say they are played by actors of color, Shay is half-Filipino, the actor who plays her mother is Filipino, Native American, and western European, and the actor who plays her father her father is half-Korean). And...she's represented by a black Barbie. Okay??
Anyway, blah blah investigation time, Spencer and Mona discover a bunch of drawings of ~THE BLACK SWAN~, which they decide is what A went as to the masquerade ball, so Mona's meant to call Hanna and tell her about it, while The Liars all see said black swan and talk about who she could be, while...
Spencer figures out that Mona is A, because of gum. !!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, Ms. Black Swan chats up Jenna and Lucas, so that's probably suspicious.
SUBTLE
So I'll be honest, I didn't totally understand this part. Hanna's phone is set "to record every time it's turned on", which I didn't know was a thing. I guess that was Mona, since the phone was FROM Mona, but why would she both doing that if she was already A? Just as a way of eavesdropping? There was probably a more effective way to do this, Mona.
This seems like a risky way to kidnap someone. So, while Mona's driving to some lookout point cliff or whatever, she lays out the villainous schemes of ~THE A TEAM~ and you guys, you cannot imagine how mad I am at myself for talking about my multiple A theory for MONTHS and never once thinking of The A Team. I mean, I guess that's why I'm not a criminal mastermind. So Mona's on the A Team because she wanted to punish the Liars for not so much standing by while Alison bullied her but stealing Hanna from her, which: ....but once Ali disappeared they kind of stopped being friends for a year?? Until they started all getting text messages from A and that forced them to get back together?? So here's my theory: the Black Swan probably started it (maybe?), Lucas joined, maybe Jenna and Garrett, and then Mona was probably the last to join when Hanna started drifting. I think that's the only way the timeline makes sense. I'm not totally sure how the A Team and the NAT club fit together exactly, but Jenna is the common party in both, so...something? Also I'm assuming she was actually referring to the A Team with her mysterious picnic party guest. OR: WAIT, was she talking to Dr Sullivan? No, that doesn't make any sense. Strike that.
In the middle of this revelatory conversation, Aria facetimes Spencer and Spencer responds, while pointing the video screen at Mona. GOOD WORK SPENCER. Mona also claims that Spencer isn't the only genius in the car at this point, which, since you haven't noticed the PHONE POINTED AT YOU, I can't fully get on board. But she did steal Spencer's dad's gun at some point, so...props.
So, as you would expect to happen if your hostage is sitting in the passenger seat not at all restrained, Spencer grabs the parking brake and then jumps out of the car, and then Mona goes after her, and Spencer accidentally throws her off a cliff. WHOOPS. But not fatally, which is for the best, because otherwise can you imagine the cops? "Let me get this straight. Your friend died and we caught you digging up the grave a month ago. And now you ''accidentally'' threw this other girl off a cliff? WE MAY BE INCOMPETENT BUT BY GOD WE ARE NOT THAT INCOMPETENT." Dr Sullivan randomly shows up, saying A threatened her son and then explains about Mona:
that she was living in a state of "hyper-reality" that explain her omniscience. OH SURE THAT THING??? They super rip off Psycho again, and then the Liars bounce.
Dr Sullivan also says that Toby convinced her to come back, which doesn't make any goddamn sense, and then Toby tells Spencer that pretending not to love her was the hardest thing he's ever done. SO WHY WERE YOU??? Nothing about this subplot tracks. ARE YOU DR SULLIVAN'S SON, TOBY? IS THAT YOUR DEAL? WHAT THE FUCK, SON.
The girls all decide to stay the night Emily's house, but just as they're walking up they see a bunch of police cars and ambulances pull up to her house, and the song from the pilot starts up, and Emily's mother tells her that they found a body...and they think it's Maya, and Emily loses her shit in a really sad way. DAMN. Don't get me wrong, I am super into the idea of Emily as the noir detective seeking revenge for her lady, but did you really have to ditch two of your actresses of color in one fell swoop, PLL? I mean, I don't know if we're meant to read Mona as "of color", but Janel is half Chinese.
And then of course: Mona's in the ward, and someone in Ali's red jacket comes to visit her. "I did everything you asked me to!!!" So Mona is acting under the orders of a Senior A (which makes sense, as she tells Spencer earlier re: A, "Yes. SHE always has a plan."). But ugh, you guys. I'm glad they had an existing character be implicated in the whole scheme, but I really REALLY wish they didn't make in into a whole BECAUSE OF HER BRAIN PROBLEMS, YOU SEE, because FOR FUCKING REAL, AGAIN? You made up a fake psychological problem and then blamed it for her actions?? It wasn't enough to have an evil blind character? I was hoping that they were at least going to engage in the culpability of the Liars in creating this situation, rather than having it be semi-handwaved like this, and ALSO to just play the Psycho allusions straight is pretty gross.
Overall: this felt really rushed and haphazard for a show that normally deals with its revelations and foreshadowing at a good clip, but one that allows you to actually process what the show is telling you. This time, there are like three subplots that I can't even figure out how I'm SUPPOSED to feel about it, let alone how I actually do. (Except Ezra. Always.)
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